Who Would Believe a Kid? Failure to Protect
the Jerry Sandusky Sexual Abuse Victims
Picture credit: Kriss Szkurlatowski
Jerry
Sandusky, the 68-year-old retired defensive coach for Penn State University,
was found guilty Friday, June 22, 2012 on 45 of 48 counts of sexually assaulting
10 boys over a period of 15 years, including his own adopted son. According to
statements from some of the victims, they told guidance counselors and other
adults that they trusted, and, unfortunately they were not believed. It just
seemed too incredulous considering Jerry Sandusky was such a beloved and
trusted icon in the Penn State community.
Who would believe a child anyway? After all, children
have active imaginations. They sometimes create fantastic, incredulous stories
from their imaginations.
Sometimes children even lie for various reasons. Quoting
from a report from the Department of Pediatrics from Hahnemann University
Hospital in Philadelphia,“If lying is defined as giving a false statement for
personal gain, then lying is only one of several causes for children not giving
an accurate account of events. The desire of a child to please others--that is,
parents, therapists, or lawyers--may also result in an invalid statement. These
factors and motivations should be considered in trying to interpret a
youngster's statement.”
It is true that sometimes children do, indeed, make
false statements and accusations. Research has shown that such false statements
are sometimes a reality, particularly in the school environment. Documented
cases have shown that students have sometimes made false accusations against
teachers for vindictive reasons, such as bad grades or resentment over a
disciplinary measure. In some of those cases, the teachers’ careers and
reputations were ruined, only to have the young accusers later retract the
accusation and admit that they had made false accusations. So it is important
first to assess whether or not a child is telling the truth.
The take-away from all of this, however, is that,
regardless of what kind of accusation a child has made, the child’s statement
warrants careful scrutiny and examination. This is where the adults in the
Jerry Sandusky sexual abuse scandal tragically failed his victims.
Another important take-away from the Sandusky
sexual abuse scandal is the importance of parents teaching their children always
to tell if something bad happens to them. It is crucial for parents to teach
their children that they have control over their own bodies. Parents should
have conversations with them about good touch and bad touch. Parents should teach
their children that examples of good touch are a hug, or a kiss on the cheek
from a loved one, or a high five or a pat on the back. Parents should teach
their children that examples of bad touches could include hitting, kicking, and
touching private parts. Parents need to instruct their children that touching
other’s private parts or letting others touch theirs is inappropriate and not
safe.
My book, What
Would You Do? A Kid’s Guide to Staying Safe in a World of Strangers,
teaches children that it is okay to say “No” to anyone, even an adult, who asks
them to do something that makes them feel uncomfortable or weird. The book
teaches children never to allow anyone to touch them in the private area of
their bodies – any area that would normally be covered by a swimsuit. It also
teaches them not to touch anyone else in those areas if asked to do so. The
book teaches children that they should always
tell their parents or a trusted
adult anytime anything like that happens. Hopefully, the trusted adult will
believe what they have been told, and, at a very minimum, scrutinize and
investigate it. Failure to do so would be a form of child neglect.
A direct quote from my book encouraging children to
tell is excerpted below:
Fantastic post! Do you know of any resources for teaching special needs children about stranger danger? It's the one area we are struggling to educate our son. He knows that we never keep secrets (we can have surprises with an ending date but no secrets) and he knows his body is his own and he has the right to tell anyone - friend, family, grown up or child he doesn't want them hugging or touching him. But we are having a hard time conveying stranger danger.
ReplyDeleteWe were watching "My Child Wouldn't Do That!" about stranger danger. They were setting kids up to see if they would get into an ice cream truck or give their information to a man who claimed to be casting for a TV show. The vast majority of the kids failed (including a police officer's daugter). I asked my son if he would go into the ice cream truck and he said yes - even after watching the show. I sat and cried. I just don't know how to convey the dangers without scaring him.
Thank you Foxxy for dropping by and commenting on my post,"Who Would Belive a Kid?". I posted to your blog about this too. You asked for a resource that would teach stranger danger to a special needs child. I honestly recommend my book, What Would You Do? A Kid's Guide to Staying Safe in a World of Strangers. It explains the concept of strangers to children in a very reassuring way and gives them a system for figuring out whom they can trust and whom they need to be more cautious around. The last chapter in the book is for parents. It gives them strategies to help reinforce in their children the lessons they learned in reading the book. The book is ideally meant to be a shared experience between a parent and child. That is why it is also suitable for even very young children and special needs children. Parents can go over the book with the very young and special needs children and discuss as you go along.
ReplyDeleteAt one of my book signings, the mother of an autistic child purchased the book and was planning to go over it with her, in little bits at a time, due to her child's limited attention span. You might want to give it a try. It can be purchased onling through Amazon, Barnes & Noble,and Books-A-Million. Thanks, Melissa Harker Ridenour