"I don't want expensive gifts. I don't want to be bought. I have everything I want. I just want someone to be there for me, to make me feel safe and secure." (Princess Diana)
Statistics show that one in four girls and one in six boys have been sexually abused by the time they reach the age of 18. Even more alarming is the statistic showing that every two minutes a child is sexually molested and that such exploitation reaches across all socio-economic, religious, and ethnic factions.
Unfortunately, many children who are abuse victims either blame themselves or believe that no one will believe them, and, as a consequence, they suffer the abuse in silence. Statistics show that 30% of children who have suffered sexual abuse never tell anyone.
In order to create a safe environment for our children, parents must become educated about sexual abuse. In order create a community atmosphere that does not tolerate child sexual abuse, parents must speak out.
Above all, parents must educate their children about the difference between good touch and bad touch. My book, What Would You Do? A Kid’s Guide to Staying Safe in a World of Strangers (available through the publisher, Headline Kids, and through, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Books-A-Million) touches upon the subject of educating children about the difference between good touch and bad touch and explains to children what they should do if they suspect they have been sexually exploited in any way.
Explain to your children that good touch is when Mommy, Daddy, Grandma, or Grandpa hug or kiss them goodnight or give a goodbye hug or kiss if they are going somewhere. Explain to your children that bad touch is any touch that makes them feel weird or uncomfortable, frightened or nervous.
Encourage your children to always tell if something like that happens to them. Most importantly, tell your children that they have the right to say No to anyone who asks them to do something that makes them feel frightened, weird, or uncomfortable. More specifics on the topic are provided in my book, What Would You Do? A Kid’s Guide to Staying Safe in a World of Strangers
This somewhat relies on children to gauge and identify how they feel about something from moment to moment...a task that even adults can have trouble with, and that boys in particular aren't well-equipped for. It assumes that children WOULD feel weird or uncomfortable in the same situation we would...it's not a certainty. There are victims who have stated that they didn't really feel weird about it until long after the fact.
ReplyDeleteWouldn't it be more effective to explicitly explain to the child exactly what you're talking about? I think we keep important information away from children for no good reason, quite often, and then expect them to play guessing games about it. Social taboos are understandable, but they have little value when you're trying to keep your kids safe. Children respond best to very direct explanations, not vague ones.
You are right about the problem with relying on children to gauge how they feel about something from moment to moment. However,my book, What Would You Do? A Kid's Guide to Staying Safe in a World of Strangers,teaches children to rely on their instincts, their gut reaction. Most children, though admittedly not all, have a kind of radar, an inner sense that tells them something does not seem right here. My book additional teaches them not to let anyone touch them in areas of their body that are normally covered by their swimsuit.
ReplyDeleteI very much welcome your response, and I invite you to subscribe to my blog and comment anytime.